... it could save you grief, as well as help someone else.
As those of you who've followed my blogs since the beginning know, it's been a difficult thing for me to express myself verbally... if for no other reason than I'd just never really done it before. I could go into all of the reasons as to why I think I didn't (blah blah blah), the fact is, I didn't. It doesn't matter why, only that talking just didn't click with me.
But I was told to express. I had to or "die," and since I'd decided at the recovery center to actually live instead of die, I made a promise to myself to be:
- Honest and open to me about me
- To do whatever it took to achieve Life (aka: suit up and show up -- thank you AA and friends)
- (gulp) If it scares me, it must be good for me, so at least try it (hence the podcasting, but that, too, is another story)
I hadn't realized the importance of writing in recovery until about a year and half into it. When it was first suggested to me, it simply didn't make sense to write anything if no one read it -- what was the point? How could someone help me if they didn't see what I was trying to say? Not to mention that if it got into the wrong hands, how terrible could that be?!
I won't go into all the details of talking, written vs verbal, I've done that already, but I will say that two things specifically happened to me when I did begin to express through writing.
- I began to find some comfort and serenity. Not every single time, mind you, it was a practice, just like meditation, or drawing, or praying (aka: internal or even verbal release) or playing music, etc. But it was beneficial.
- I began to realize that it is possible that this could actually be beneficial to someone besides me. I mean, it certainly had helped me to listen to, or read about, others that had issues I could relate to. It was important then, and still is now, to hear those things. I need them. It helps. And if it helps me, just maybe my daily struggles could help someone else, even if only one person.
This is what spawned Drunkless, and is why I work so hard at keeping it going, just like those that are helping me along the way: Tami Harper Winn, Adrienne, Matt, W.C., and Drinkless Sakyong. Then there's the guest bloggers that have written in and the podcast guests, too. This site is reaching people. It's not a lot, not yet, but it is reaching people.
I give Drunkless to my HP on a daily basis, every single morning. And then I remind myself that if Drunkless ever shuts down, it is simply because our Higher Power has used it to its fullest potential, and it is done. (And then I sneak in a little, "But, uh ... you know, God... it really could help more people if..." and then a spiritual wink to the Creator.) So far, there doesn't seem to be any signs of slowing down! It's great! And its a lot of work, too.
We've got plans for Drunkless. Big plans. But it is ultimately up to our HP to decide where it will go, and for how long. So what do I do, then? What am I here for? How can I best serve Drunkless?
By learning. Not just about the ins-and-outs, but about me, about you, and what we can take on and what we cannot. Learning about how we can be more helpful and useful to our readers and listeners, and learning what everyone wants and needs.
Tonight, I wasn't going to write anything. I've been in the dumps the last few days, but I decided to just write something, and then I decided to post a little something below.
I was sitting home one day, alone, and I was itching to do something, ANYTHING. I love doing video stuff, though I don't have a lot of experience in it, but I try with what little I have. I decided to work on a little project. It took me about three days, but I was able to piece together this quirky, silly cartoon. I'd explain it, but I think it's pretty self explanatory, so I won't. It's not a high-end cartoon, but it ties in pretty nicely with what we've been doing and "pushing" around here. You'll just have to watch it.
Meanwhile, I highly suggest that if you or someone else you know has something heavy on their chest or that needs to talk but can't/won't -- have them write it out. Write it, type it, draw it -- get the hands moving, get them do something. It's very important on how our brain processes, records and recalls thoughts, memories, and feelings.
They can always burn or delete the writing or drawing, too. I did that just two days ago, wrote and wrote and wrote some more. I had a lot going on inside, and Left Side and Right Side were kicking my ass. Badly. But the pen truly is mighty, and I found some solace afterwards.
Okay, enough of me... cheesy cartoon to follow... ;)