What it Means To Be a Passionate Person and Why That’s Not a Bad Thing
By: Rose Lockinger
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am fairly emotional person. I feel very strongly, whether they are good feelings or bad feelings. For a good portion of my life I felt guilty about this. I would put myself down because I seemed to get overly excited or overly sad about something and no matter how hard I tried to manage and hide my emotions they were always there along with the at times debilitating anxiety and fear that consumed my life. One of the blessings of coming into recovery has been learning how to manage my emotions as well as learning to deal with anxiety sober instead of using a substance or alcohol to manage them.
For a time, I just didn’t want to feel at all. I wanted to be numb and so I looked to drugs and alcohol in order to not feel. Drinking, using drug, and acting out on my eating disorder allowed me to control my emotions to a certain extent because I was able to suppress them deep down inside of me and put off dealing with them until another day. The thing is that this didn’t work for very long and after a period of suppression there would always be some sort of explosion. Whether it was anger or sadness, it seemed to come out all at once and with a greater force then I felt was normal.
Then I finally got sober and I began to experience my emotions, and boy were they a mess in the beginning. I would sometimes just cry and cry and I wasn’t even really sure why. I wouldn’t even really be sad, but I would get an overwhelming feeling that I needed to cry and so I would. Some days I would even bounce from being happy to sad to happy to sad and to be honest sometimes I wasn’t even really sure how I felt.
The longer that I stayed sober the more emotions seemed to even out, but I still found that I felt like I was operating with a higher degree of emotionality than others. I still would feel guilty about this and there were times when I would try to hide my true emotions.
That was until I came to realize that I am rather passionate person and that there is nothing wrong with this. Just because I possibly feel more than others doesn’t mean that I am wrong and they are right, it just means that I am passionate. At the expense of sounding pretentious, this passion is the driving force behind my writing, it is what makes me an artist and without it I do not think that I would be able write in the manner that I do.
My passion and ability to feel strongly I believe is a God given gift. With that being said it is not something to be abused, as I am known to be prone for fits of emotional indulgence, but like I said I believe that God made me a passionate person for a reason.
I have found when I talk to people who feel similar to me, that they also have experienced a sort of self-deprecating attitude toward their passionate side. They too attempt to tone it down out of fear of how others will react and in doing so they don’t allow themselves to shine as brightly as they could.
Being passionate means that you have something to say and you have something to do and it goes against the grain of society, because whether we are conscious of it or not, we are told hundreds of times a day, in many different ways, not to rock the boat, go along with the flow, and don’t make a scene.
Doing this is not really in my nature. When I feel something I have to speak it and when I am excited about something I want to share it with as many people as I can. This latter characteristic is particularly suited for sobriety, because think about it this way, what would have happened if Bill Wilson wasn’t passionate about sobriety? We would probably not have the 12 Steps and I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this. I would probably be dead right now, or at the very least be at the bottom of bottle wishing for death.
So being a passionate person is not bad. It means that you may sometimes get flack from people for being overly excited or excitable, or overly sensitive, but it also means that you have a great capacity for empathy and love. You can see people’s hurt and are driven to try to help them in any way that you can. It means that you will not take no for an answer when you are chasing down your dreams and in the end it will mean that you will be successful in whatever you endeavor.
I write these things as much for myself, as for anyone who will read it. I need the reminder that my being passionate is not a handicap, although it sometimes feels that way, but it is a blessing. One that I hope to use wisely.
If sobriety has taught me anything, it is that the key to life is to be yourself. Trying to be someone else has never worked out, and for someone like myself it means the death of my soul and a return to the drink. So I’m going to do my best to let my passionate flag fly and own when I feel strongly about things. I hope that if you related to any of this, that you do the same, and never again feel bad about being a passionate person.
Rose Lockinger is a passionate member of the recovery community. A rebel who found her cause, she uses blogging and social media to raise the awareness about the disease of addiction. She has visited all over North and South America. Single mom to two beautiful children she has learned parenting is without a doubt the most rewarding job in the world. Currently the Outreach Director at Stodzy Internet Marketing.