By DL... no, by Marv... er, no wait... ah heck, just read. :)
From time to time, our Series Bloggers need to take a break. This means that either I do a fill in, or nothing shows up! Or, we do what Marv has just done! He's sent me a clip of something he'd done on his site (www.onerepatatime.net) and explained that he couldn't get in an article this week, but he wanted to make sure his readers knew he was still around and had something to read. He explained to me that his business is starting to boom (YAY!!!) and that he's become heavily involved in meetings, commitments, and sponsorship this week. He stated that "... not putting my recovery first ... is a recipe for disaster."
And we 100% agree. The biggest stipulation for someone writing a Series Blog on Drunkless is that they put their recovery before anything else. Period.
Marv, hats off to you! We're happy to put in a filler for you! And just as gratefully, thank you for providing something to put in place of your normal, weekly blog!
Now, without further ado:
By O.R. Marv
Daily meditation/prayer and having a plan when you are in relapse mode are two things NEVER to be taken lightly when in recovery from some sort of addiction.
Because of this fact there are two handwritten notes I keep in my wallet with me at all times.
One is a “relapse emergency note”, in case I am ever feeling vulnerable with my sobriety and am contemplating getting loaded (thankfully I’ve never had to pull it out but it’s nice to know I have it).
As I’ve shared before, this is not my first go at recovery, but it is that one that stuck – probably because I quit “trying” and just “did the damn deal.”
I wrote this note about 3 days after returning from my latest relapse, when not only was I petrified for my life, but totally vulnerable, totally broken, totally desperate.
It is very personal and I will keep it as such; but I strongly encourage you to write a note to yourself that will act as a last-ditch effort to remind yourself of the insanity you had escaped when you quit using/drinking.
The other handwritten note I have with me at all times is my own personal third step prayer.
I was struggling mightily with feeling my emotions yet remaining spiritual after transitioning out of my treatment center.
It was recommended by the outpatient counselor that I write my own version of the third step prayer to say every day while hitting my knees (I continue to do so today however I’ll admit rarely from my knees).
Since I had become willing to take every suggestion and recommendation as if they were “subtle commands” I followed my counselor’s instruction and wrote MY version of the third step prayer.
Pen to paper – first draft, final draft.
It by itself, was a very spiritual experience.
The prayer itself, in my eyes, was and still is perfection.
I guarantee you that these are not my words but my Higher Power’s.
I will share my prayer with you, however, be sure to write your OWN VERSION.
Do not just copy mine.
Take my will and my life. Relieve me of my fear and insecurity and replace it with self-love and acceptance. Instill in me the principle of non-judgement towards myself, ever reminding me to be gentle on myself. Allow me the courage, the drive, and the focus to do today what needs to be done; to walk through what I need to walk through. May life radiate through my eyes, not the clouds of depression. May my actions bear witness to you, fulfilling your expectations and those of me or others. May I do your will always…clean, sober, and free.