My Miraculous Story
When I speak of my story in sobriety, I mention that the way I found the rooms of AA was a total miracle. Events transpired in such a way that it could have only been God working His magic. I would like to take this opportunity to share that part of my story so you can experience the miracles for yourself.
I had dabbled in AA in my past. When I was about 19 years old I went to meetings but only because I had to for probation. I went only a handful of times and heard all about the miracles and saw all of the smiling faces. I glanced up at the wall, saw the steps as they are outlined in the program and thought they looked ok. I was up for giving it a shot. So I sat in a meeting and I did the first three steps in my head in about 2 minutes. Needless to say, that didn’t work. I don’t know how, but I missed the part about getting a sponsor. Or perhaps I misinterpreted what a sponsor did. Either way, I had nothing to contribute to the meetings and I didn’t understand a damn word they were saying. But most importantly, I wasn’t ready to quit drinking. Sure I wanted to get my P.O. off my back, but I didn’t want what they had because I thought I could find the same happiness in a bar as soon as I was done with probation. I didn’t really want it so I didn’t get it.
Now comes the exciting part, the end of my drinking career when I had partied my hardest. I was out all night every night who knows where doing who knows what. I had succumbed to my disease. I couldn’t beat it so I joined it.
Then came the day that everything changed. I had been quite sick and miserable for quite some time. But one morning it was different. Here comes miracle number one. I woke up dead inside. I wanted something different like never before. I sent a plea for help via text to my therapist at the time. She told me to get myself up and go get help. I had no idea what that meant but I was so desperate I listened. I drove to the ER and told them I needed to detox. Looking back I have no idea how I found the courage to do that. It must have been God who carried me there. I spent two weeks detoxing, bed ridden for the first three days. The whole detox process was a blur and I cannot recall any of it. I was a mess.
When I got out though, nothing was different. Sure I had a couple of clean days under my belt but no resources and my old life waiting for me. So, being the alcoholic I am, I hit the liquor store on the way home from detox to do all I knew to do. I partied it up like usual, unaware that this would be my last drunk for a long time. The next morning I had a meeting with my lawyer.I was in a custody battle at that time. Here comes the second miracle. While in her office life slapped me in the face. Hard. In that meeting, she informed me that I had lost my case, lost my kids and that she would no longer be representing me. It was all due to my drinking. I left in tears and in the parking lot called all my party buddies and out of pure adrenaline and emotion I asked them all to not call me again. I politely asked them to go away and never come back. If I had time to calm down, I never would have done that. That was not like me. God must have dialed those numbers before I could talk myself out of it.
So here I was, broken and beaten with absolutely no one. All was lost. Then the third and probably most important miracle happened. The very next day after getting rid of all my friends and getting fired by my lawyer, I received the phone call that changed my life forever. A lady I was in detox with called and invited me to a meeting. First of all, the fact that she called was a miracle in itself. I have been housed in various inpatient programs and you make friends and you all make a vow to call each other when you get out but nobody ever does. That has been my experience anyway. So this woman invited me to a meeting. I didn’t remember who she was, what she looked like or even conversing with her while in detox but she remembered me. I don’t know why, but I said yes. I shudder to think how things might be if I had declined her offer. Due to my previous experiences in AA, I was convinced it wasn’t for me. But I met up with this woman and we went to three meetings that day. I met friends that day that I love and cherish today. Then she invited me to go with her to a meeting the next day. I honestly thought this chick was crazy for going to so many meetings. But for whatever reason I followed. I kept going. And going and going. I became a part of as I recognized faces and shared in meetings. For awhile I had no idea why I was there or what I was really doing. God must have led me through that door each time.
Fast forward more than 5 years and here I am, emerged as a whole new person. I owe my life to that woman who invited me to that first meeting. She introduced me to a new way of life. She brought me home. All those prayers I prayed while drunk and miserable were finally answered. God finally decided I had enough, reached down and did for me what I could not do for myself. What a blessing.