Life Story, Sobriety Secrets

Matching Calamity with Serenity: Practical Self-Care Tips




As I stretch out across my bed, I span over my entire bedroom. I catch a glimpse of the pictures of my family, the paintings that I and my daughter created on the wall, the desk I refurbished where I write, the trees outside my bedroom window that bring nature indoors, the lit candles and the ever-growing collection of books that I consider my best friends. This is my room – my escape. This is where I come to collect my thoughts and center when chaos erupts outside my bedroom door.


One of the tricks to recovery is being able to match calamity with serenity. Lately, as I have expressed, I have been struggling with my disease of Alanon. The more that I venture into my recovery, the more I understand the true nature of me and my disease. The more that happens in my course of sobriety from alcohol, the more I realize that what really is the core of why I drank in the first place was because I was unable to control my outside circumstances. So, instead I chose to run, which eventually led me over the invisible line into alcoholism.


I obviously need to stay sober in order to handle the plate I’ve been given, but in order to eat what is on my plate, or choose what it is I want on my plate in the first place I need to address my disease of Alanon. For an Alanon our inability to control people, places, and things can be deadly. It is truly deadly for someone who is also an alcoholic. Lately, I have been in full relapse mode with my disease of Alanon. I need to be actively participating in my recovery journey with Alanon. It’s mandatory.


My family life is very much in turmoil at this time. I realize today that it only impedes on me when I let it. I can create much damage by allowing my disease to go full blown. Alanon is so tricky because relationships are the core of the disease – how you handle them. The insanity it can create within a person is unbelievable. So being able to match calamity with serenity is imperative.


So, what I have been busy doing at full speed is getting deep into my step work and going to meetings. I am as desperate as a drowning woman. So, I as I pedal ahead I take the steps I have learned at self care and I try to use as many as I can. Here a few:


Keys to Quick Serenity


1.     I keep a safe place for me to go to. (my room, my hammock, etc.)

2.     I take time to center in my safe space. (read, meditate, do yoga)

3.     I do the things that I enjoy. (read, write, take a bike ride, travel)

4.     I walk away from the situation if I am doubtful or unsure as to how to deal with it.

5.     I choose to not engage.

6.     I pray

7.     I get busy with step work and recovery

8.     I use positive affirmations and fill my room or car or home with positive music.

9.     I create a positive energy in my space that I am occupying.

10.  I pause when agitated or doubtful, recognizing when I need to H.A.L.T.


As I try to manage the mess I have allowed to pile up, I make sure to do what I can to make sure I am cared for during it. As I recover and become healthier once again these things will not feel like such a chore. For now, each day is a new day and I get to start all over.


I hope these steps have helped a little. Feel free to use them if needed. Or you can borrow some of the tips I also found helpful from the an article I found in the Tiny Buddha. Make your list to fit your specific needs, but make sure you care for yourself each day whether you are Alanon, suffer from any addiction or just need to stop the insanity of the outside world. I’ll keep you posted as I go along and hopefully my newfound recovery will begin to show in my writing once again. Until then, I wish you all much light and love on your journey.


~ Tami Harper Winn ~


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