I'm A Grateful Alcoholic
Hello my name is Adrienne and I am a grateful alcoholic. HA! What a load of crap! Grateful my big toe! I never understood why people said that. Why would you be grateful to have a chronic hopeless disease that tears apart lives and families, destroys hopes and dreams and wrecks the lives of all who come in contact with it? It baffles me.
At least it always has until one conversation I had with my sponsor. I was in a crappy mood pissed off that I was an alcoholic. I told my sponsor, “I just wish I was normal and could go drink on occasion like the rest of the world.” She looked at me and said, “Really?” She got me thinking. Without the disease of alcoholism, I would never have sought help for my problems to the degree I have. As a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am a part of. I have a large host of friends, many I could call on day or night if needed. I have things to do, events to attend and fun everywhere I look. Alcoholics Anonymous is not a glum lot. We have been given a second chance at life and we know it!
Not only do I have good, solid healthy friendships today like I’ve never known, but I have a higher power (who I choose to call God for simplicity) that eases my pains and worries and does so much for me than I could ever do for myself. I now comprehend the word serenity and I know peace. Notice I did not say I am serene and peaceful all the time, I just know it’s available. I don’t live in a dream world, life is still life with all its ups and downs. I just can better handle it today. I have a solution. It’s like my life today is one big self help book in action.
It’s funny to me to watch non-alcoholics. Sure they don’t have the problems we do, they weren’t born with a spiritual malady like us. But they do have problems. They get into a bind and don’t think to seek help the way we do. They don’t have a ready-made solution easily within their grasp. Sure they talk over their issues with their friends and I’m sure that helps, but for the most part they have deep pains and wounds that may not ever get addressed. We alcoholics have to work through our issues or it kills us. We get to process and straighten out our burdens then be free of them. How delightful! We get to live a life of solution and progress. We constantly have opportunities to improve our lives. We get to grow and become mentally and emotionally free. If I was not an alcoholic, I would not get to experience the joy of the fruits of the program. Does that make me a grateful alcoholic? Hmmm. I don’t know. I do know I am an alcoholic. I do know I am grateful. So, yeah I guess I am.
I do it because it works.
I do it because I live a life of recovery.