Does Recovery ever get in the way?
I know, stupid question, right? But, really... does it?
We've all heard it before, "Recovery must come first!", and here at Drunkless, we press that issue. It's true, it must. A tall tree with shallow roots in poor soil is bound to come crashing down when the weather becomes too much. And thankfully, I've been treating the soil and the roots of my recovery.
But, that doesn't answer our question now, does it? Can Recovery ever "get in the way?"
Does that make any kind of sense? Let's look at the flip side - let's look at it like a Normie might:
"Does my job ever get in the way of my living?"
"Does my sleep ever get in the way of my day?"
"Do my eating and exercise habits ever get in my way of my health?"
I mean, realistically -- any one of those could be "yes!", couldn't they? But...
I struggle with that thought some times. Can my recovery actually get in the way?
I work hard at staying sober. That's not to be confused with "it's hard to stay sober, so I work a lot at it." What I'm saying is: "I do a lot of things to keep myself sober." And by a lot, I mean... a lot. Perhaps, too much.
We've talked about this before, balance. But even slightly off-kilter, we just move back to the center and we're - fixed. Back and forth, never perfect, but always working on it.
And then - then there's the day we're working to balance so much recovery that our center actually moves the very base we're balanceing from. The center tips, the scales tumbles, and suddenly -- well, maybe we're jobless.
Now what? The very job that kept the food on the table and the membership at gym, or the one that paid for the heat for us to sleep at night, or the gas in the car -- its suddenly, gone. How can we adjust the shifting base on our balancing beam in recovery if the base is no longer there? The very structure that everyone, addicts, alcoholics, normies and the like, all rely on?
We lean on others.
But we adjust.
And if you're as blessed to be in recovery as I am, then you've got one thing more than what most normies will ever have in their entire lives: a support system.
When too much is too much and it gets in the way of your recovery, there is support to help you tip-up the base, to reset and realign the beam, and begin the constant, ever-fluid process of balance.
Don't get so overwhelmed with Recovery that we forget about the rest of Life. Balance is important, just like the roots of the tree can't grown strong without leaves and branches, neither can our recovery grow strong without the rest of Life's necessities. But remember - if it ever crashes down, lean on your team. They're there for a reason; they care.
Thankfully, I haven't had to worry about that just yet. Nonetheless, at times, it feels like my Recovery is getting in the way.
I think I'll go hit a meeting, contact my sponsor, and go help someone in need. Seems like the falls hurt just a little less like that.