Be Careful What You Pray For PART 2
Title look familiar? Yeah I know it was the title of my last week's blog. But this prayer thing is such a big deal that so much was left unsaid. So here's part 2, a continuation of my thoughts from last time.
So my whole point on the prayer thing is that your prayers are always heard. Always. It's the path to the answers that is the surprise. What would be the fun in always getting what we want just like that? Seriously think about it. What if I prayed for a yacht and one just appeared? I would need a dock, someone to maintain it, time to spend on it, ways to get to it, etc, etc...How boring. If I really prayed earnestly for a yacht, like that was really all I wanted in this world, I could see God showing me available jobs to be able to save up for one, then perhaps a chance to live somewhere near where I might be able to enjoy one. Then once that was all accomplished, He might line me up with a fellow who is looking to sale his used yacht for a fairly reasonable price. This would all take quite some time of course but it is possible. See the round about way we things we want? Nothing in this life seems to come just like that. If I simply prayed for a yacht and one appeared in my front yard then I would know I could get anything I want at anytime. And me being the extremist I am (which happens to be an alcoholic characteristic) I would go all out. I would have it all. Sounds great theoretically. I know even if I had everything I ever wanted, I would eventually get bored. I remember playing a video game once that I really liked. I went online and found a cheat code. I typed in the code and suddenly everything in the game was unlocked! To my surprise, it ruined the thrill of the game for me. There was nothing to try for, no challenge. BO-RING!!
K, so enough about yachts and video games.
I have a selfishness problem. I feel like that is one of my most glaring character defects. So, during my daily morning meditation I would consistently pray, "God, please help me to recognize opportunities to be selfless and opportunities to be of service and give me the power to carry them out." Sounds good right? It sounds like a simple, humble prayer. I thought so too. So why after months of praying this was I still suffering? And more than normal? I was feeling so guilty and ashamed because I felt like my selfishness was getting worse! Then I realized- AHA! God had been answering my prayer all along. I was asking Him to help me recognize opportunities to be selfless. Oh He was. All I could do was notice-all around me and to my dismay I might add- all the things I could be doing. He was showing me opportunities! That was what I had asked for wasn't it? He was answering my prayer. Geez. Silly me. So once I realized that you better believed I stopped that prayer.
Someone once pointed out to me that in the steps it reads, "...praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." That's really the only prayer we really need. It's a one prayer fits all.
I do it because it works.
I do it because I live a life of recovery.