When the silence is ripped open by the words, “She’s dead”, somehow it feels like it can never be stitched back together again.
I will not allow myself to go down any not-so-good roads as Dr. Suess would say in his book, “Oh, The Places You'll Go”.
This year ends with the closure of a very big part of my life and who I am is changing once again.
Then the doctor told me that in fact, one of my babies had held on and was still trying to be born.
I WASN'T READY TO SAY GOODBYE: Tips to Help Those Experiencing Loss and for Those Who May Love Someone Experiencing Loss
Staring me in the eye is the glass ballerina ornament my daughter hung with such love only weeks before she was to leave. “What do you want from me", I asked the silly thing. Tear streaks staining my cheeks, “I wasn’t ready to say goodbye”.
I am in recovery, and if I don't get a handle on this, I may very well find myself grieving over the loss of my sobriety. So, I'm going back to basics. I'm going back to The ABC's and 123's of Grief in Sobriety.
“The only problem I have is that you are still breathing" ...To say he hated me was an understatement.
Many of you will be feeling the sting of the holiday season as you read this.
Before the turn I can clearly see my street lined with police officers, paramedic crews, and news reporters – most of them centered around my home.
Sitting in the hammock cross-legged below me near the river bank he asks me, “What do you think you are most afraid of?”
As the plane disappears into the blue of the afternoon sky I think to myself, “WHAT THE GEEZ DID I JUST DO?”
So, maybe life is like the rollercoaster at Disneyland.
That night my classmates shared shots in Vegas – none of us aware of what would happen in less than 24 hours.
Fast forward seven years later…no Prince Charming on some dumb ole white horse ever stole that bad ass princess off that bar stool to save her from her own worst judgment.
I’m sure each of us has at one point or another questioned how we landed in each others lives or how it has managed to work so effectively for this long.
I sometimes feel like I’m searching for Waldo in the “Where’s Waldo” series
I often remember wondering who I would be and what life would look like if I ever stopped drinking.
A recent call to action...has called upon what I have learned in my recovery – to show others what “integrity in action” looks like.
There is something deeper than I can understand going on here and my weak human mind cannot grasp the smallest piece of what is at work here.
I’m assured by my coaches that my training will be brutal. I have to keep my eye on the gold medal.