Broke & Shattered
As a child I was different then my friend. I liked groups like Boys to Men,Musicals like Cats. The greater majority of my friends listened to punk rock & there was a disconnect between us. I always felt like there was something wrong with me because of the way they treated me. I wanted to be accepted for who I was. The sad truth is I never was! I was ridiculed for my taste in music. I can still remember on a daily basis they called me names, made me feel like I was less than. Being young & impressionable is hard. I never fit the mold! I learned to be what people wanted me to be.
My mother & father did the best they could to teach me to accept myself & love who I was. I still remember my fathers words. He would say "When you walk into a room your presents lights it up." He would also tell me that I could be anything I wanted & do anything,the world was my oyster. My mother was very nurturing before she had to leave. They did the best they could with what they had!!!
The combination of my friends ridicule & my parent love made for a very confused child. I didn't know what to believe or who I was. Today I know that kids can be cruel & hurtful. I was scarred by them in a way that still affects me today. I remember calling my mom one night crying because of the things the other kids said. I was torn to pieces on the inside & they knew they were hurting me but they continued.
I thank God for the program & all of the love I have received. I came to AA broken, shattered to pieces & people taught me that I was a child of God. Its taken me many years to believe that!!! While the children of my childhood hurt me.The love & the acceptance I have received in the program made a compassionate young man with a very big heart. That experience taught me to love people & have compassion for them. I implore you to do the same! Love one another! Build each other up! Because what I do to you I do to me!
Until Next time