Rubbing my hands through my hair, I began to think about my day. Had I been helpful to everyone? To anyone? Had I actually done anything that was of any kind of value at all, for someone other than myself and that wasn’t based on getting something back?
I couldn’t remember. I was simply too tired.
Blankly, I watch the cursor blink on the brightly lit screen. I was either too tired to get motived, or I’d run myself out of ideas. I feared the latter, maybe my time of pathetic writing was finally here; had I run entirely dry of the flowing thoughts that flooded my sick mind daily?
I typed the letter “i” several times over. It looked like an upside down exclamation point, so I began to follow with it “!”, over and over. “i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!”
It was as though I could hear the ZZZZZZIP! of a body bag being sealed shut for my writing career. “Well, there goes another one, Harry.” I could hear the coroner state, shaking his head. “So many go there.”
I raised my slouched back, arching backwards, and listened to my spine crackle all the way from top to bottom. It eerily reminded me of the sealing of the bag, and sent shivers pulsating from my spine through my body. I was tired. I was worn out. And I was, on a personal scale, defeated.
‘Fuck it.’ I thought. ‘I’m done. I should have never attempted this to begin with. It was a stupid idea.’ I pushed the mouse and keyboard under the monitor, and rubbed my tired eyes. I’d been up too late again, for too many nights. But I couldn’t help it. There just wasn’t enough time in a day to get everything done with the website and blogging, and since the time change occurred, I’d lost yet an hour. ‘Stupid time change.’ Maybe a good nights rest would do me some good.
But I couldn’t go another night without posting something. It had already been three nights, and I was supposed to do this nearly daily. So far, I’d failed miserably.
I couldn't do this without warning, I had to write something. Anything! I cracked my knuckles, and pulled the keyboard and mouse back out.
Blankly, I watched the cursor blink on the brightly lit screen… and then typed...
Good evening, my fellow readers. Due to circumstances of drastic website growth, the demand for quality articles, and a few other recent changes in my position in Life, I have reconsidered my Nearly-Daily blogs. What this simply means is that time constraints and lack of sleep have had a huge impact on when I can write quality blogs. Therefore, I will blog as I can, which may be daily or may be weekly, but I cannot make a promise to do it as often as I had hoped.
This does not mean I am going away, nor does it mean that Drunkless.com is in anyway disappearing! It simply means that I, as a blogger, am re-arranging my position on how often I can type blogs. To reiterate, if I can get a blog up daily, I will. If not, I won’t.
Thank you for your understanding.
‘This is the stupidest thing I’ve written yet!’ I thought as I rolled my eyes, finger hovering over the delete key.
With a forced effort, my hand slowly floated from the delete key to the mouse.
'It’s been submitted.' I thought with eery regret gnawing on my gut.
With an uneasy yawn and a defiant stretch, I stood up, turned off my monitor, and walked to my bed. I'm an undies kinda guy, so off came the clothes and under the sheets I crawled.
With a SWITCH! of the lamp, the light was out.
Stay tuned, good night, and as always...