We loiter with the intent to recover.
I truly believed when I first came in the program that when I put the alcohol and drugs down that was the end of my problem. Once I put the drugs & alcohol down life became good again. I started to look healthy. My job appreciated the fact that I would show up. People started to see me differently. But it was only a matter of time before my alcoholic thinking returned. And at that point I had no solution to my problem anymore. Until then I hadn't work any steps. I didn't really believe I had to. I thought the steps were for people that had it worse off than me. Boy was I wrong!!! After beating my head against the wall many times I finally did work the steps and realized something you hear in the rooms & something I've said before in my blogs.
I came here for my drinking and I stay here for my thinking.
But another valuable lesson I've learned.(very valuable)
Is not to let the life that AA gave me get in the way of my AA life.
After I did work the steps I had a couple of years. I was sponsoring and actively working program. Then the day came where I became too busy for any of those things. I stopped going to meetings as much. I didn't call people quite as often. One circumstance led to another and I chose to pick back up. Luckily I found my way back to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today I truly do not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it (as the nine steps says). That experience was so valuable to me and I learned a great deal about myself. God led me back to Alcoholics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous led me back to God. Today I believe my purpose is to be of service to God & those about me. I also believe that I've had the psychic change that the big book talks about. Now I just want to pass it on and help others recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. But I have to stay vigilant and continue to work the steps. By no means am I saying I'm perfect, far from it actually. But I'm far from the man that I once was!!!
Until next time