Daily Life

Self-Awareness

By: DL

Wow. Despite the gloomy rains, today was absolutely fabulous. I got up about fifteen minutes late, I've got two people out of the office on travel, and another one that left for other opportunities (of his own accord). Usually, all of that would cause discord in life -- but not today, because today truly was fabulous.

Once I finally popped up out of my bed this morning, I dragged my feet to the shower and got ready for work. I typically start my day off with at least a five or ten minute prayer/meditation combo (shall we call that PMC? Okay, no, that's just silly -- never mind). But for some reason, I had plenty of time, more than I had expected to.

I've been listening to some Oprah & Deepak meditations, but I somehow got a couple of days behind (can someone say "drunkless.com?"), so I was actually listening to one from two days ago -- but it sure hit home. The meditation was titled, "Self-Awareness Brings Belief to Light."

I don't know exactly what it was about that meditation, but it really kicked off my day with a great attitude. All day long, things just rolled off of my shoulders and ran well.

And to top it all off, tonight was the Native American 12-step meeting (love that meeting), discussing the fourth step. Anyone that's been faced with step four knows how hard it is to grasp/complete. Or is that how unwilling we are to look at ourselves? I never can seem to differentiate between the two.

Anyway, it suddenly just seemed to make sense. Another "ah-ha!" moment, just like I've had a hundred times before. Maybe this time I'll actually remember how to do this thing. But more to my point, a good friend of mine asked me if I wanted to work together on the fourth step this weekend. NOW we're talking. I feel like I really NEED someone to go through this with, and I have asked both my previous sponsor as well as my current one to assist me with this step, but somehow, we can just never connect or our timing for it has been off (meaning I have discussed it with my sponsor, and we felt that, at the time, maybe I was trying too hard -- so I slowed down bit). It's not that any of us are avoiding it, it just seems to be out of reach. Maybe I'll get through it this time.

I'm just speculating here, but maybe it's because I need assistance from someone other than them. I would feel better working with her anyway. Don't ask me to try and explain why tonight -- it's 1:00 AM, and I have to get up in four or five hours. If I tried to explain it now, I would have a book for everyone to read, and it would be time to go to work before I completed it.

Alright, I know this is a weird post (well, maybe they all are, I just feel like this one is more out of the ordinary compared to the others), but I'm racing through it so I can keep my Dailies streak going, and I want to post on my Gratitude, so -- here I go!

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Gratitude - Day 9 (Monday (early Tuesday AM))

Today, I'm simply grateful FOR TODAY! I'm grateful for (once again) the Native American 12-step program, and most importantly, I'm thankful for my good friend, [Anonymous]. I can't say that enough, actually. She's been a very positive influence in my life, and I can only hope that someday I can repay at least part of what she's already done for me. <sigh> I'm blessed she's my friend.

(Thank you, [Anonymous].)

Namasté

 

Drunkless Life