Communictation: Writing vs Speaking
Today was a pretty good day, really. I set it in my mind that I was going to get through this day, and do it well. So I did.
I visited my home group again tonight. Sometimes, I really hate visiting there, because they always make me talk. I don't like talking in groups, hence the writing. I feel like a made a fool of myself, because when I speak, I just don't seem to articulate as well -- not that I do it that well in writing, either, but at least I can go at a pace that makes sense to me.
The topic was as scattered as my daily arguments, though. It ranged from the heart, to feelings, to emotions... hmmm. Maybe they weren't so far off after all. They talked about letting others look in, so we could look out. How it starts as an inside job working out, not outside working in. And how we need to rely on ourselves, but use our friends to lean on when we need to.
There was a lot of good stuff in there, but I always feel somewhat out of place. Part of it is because everyone else always has so much to say, and they say it so well. I fumble around and sound like a -- no, let's not do this. Rephrase: Although I feel like I don't verbally communicate as well as the other members do, I do it a lot better now than I did when I first started the group. And although I would prefer to communicate in writing versus verbally, I realize that they are only trying to HELP me by asking me to speak. They know me, I won't say anything unless I'm asked to talk most of the time (I have on occasion, but very, very rarely).
The reality is, we need to communicate -- to talk. But talking doesn't have to be done verbally. The very reason I started this blog was because it was easier for me to say what I needed to say with pen and paper (or fingers, as is the case) rather than with my lips.
Writing triggers a part of the brain through sight and eye stimulation, as well as activating it through physical drawing (especially if you're hand writing, which is actually even better than typing). This causes memory movement and processes thoughts and feelings differently than just thoughts alone. It's a very important part of "getting it out" and expressing feelings, emotions, and memories.
However, writing is only part of the tool. Actually speaking is another. When we are telling a story, we do a couple of things. For one, we physically cause our body to breath out our memories and thoughts. This involves a seriously large part of our body. Secondly, we actually hear, through our own ears, what we're saying. This is big, because when we hear our stories come from our lips, and back through our ears, we ground ourselves in the moment of Now. We're actually HERE, listening to what we're trying to say, and processing it very differently.
I'm not making a very good argument for never having to speak, am I? I guess the reality is, they both serve a purpose in their own way, and they work together. Both are very necessary.
I guess I will continue to hit my home group, because I know that they'll "make me" talk. As hard as it is for me to talk in groups, it's something I need to learn how to do, because I'm chairing a meeting now. Yikes. Never saw that one coming. wink emoticon