Ever make a decision or say something you're not sure you should have? Maybe it was okay, but maybe it wasn't!
This weekend has been a mess for me. I've been trying to keep my head looking forward, but it's been either back, or down. I keep going over a minor event in my head that happened Friday evening, and I just can't conclude as to whether it was okay, not okay, understood, misunderstood, or -- what?
I argue one side, and realize how stupid of me it was to even have the conversation. On the other hand, it made perfectly good sense, so really, things are more than just fine.
Or -- maybe there was a misunderstanding on their part, or -- no, maybe on MY part! Oh bother -- this is just going round and round.
So, it has been a completely pointless battle amongst Left Side and Right Side (again) -- all weekend long. I just haven't been able to get a grip on either one of them, and I won't even be able to have "closure" of the conversation until this next Tuesday -- if I should even bring it up (Left Side argues with Right).
Ever have a "Shut up!!! I've had enough!!!" moment, when you're sitting alone in your car, arguing with yourself, at a stop light, and instead of using your inner-voice, you use your outer-voice, and people in other vehicles are staring at you, wondering who in the hell you're yelling at?
Ya. One of THOSE weekends.
But today is nearly over, and i'm still completely sober. Tomorrow is another day, and I'll be on a more regular schedule. Sometimes, I think I go to work just so I can take a break from my Me-Time.
Gratitude - Day 22 (Sunday)
I am grateful for the 12-step yoga meeting that I attend. I didn't want to go tonight, and it didn't help that I was being called a name that wasn't my name, but it was good. The topic was spot on (surprise surprise -- that kind of stuff still blows me away), and I needed the physical activity and stretching. Although it didn't completely silence my mind, it helped that I was somewhere else for two hours rather than just inside my head -- and I think any alcoholic can appreciate that.