Freed from my chains
Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.
In AA you often hear it said "let us love you until you can love yourself" over the course of my using and drinking I learned a lot about heartache,pain and hate. Every time I would pick up I would cause heartache in the people that cared for me. I began to hate who i was more and more everyday because of the decisions my addiction would thrust me towards. I can remember looking in the mirror some nights and thinking "why don't you just stop? You're ruining your life". Ultimately I learned a lot of behaviours that were extremely bad for me. The only purpose I had was to get loaded. Recovery to me today is about learning and unlearning. Learning new behaviors that lead me closer to God and ultimately make me a more loving individual to those around me and to myself. It's hard to let go of prejudices that I have developed over the course of my life, but as I do I become free! Free of the chains that have held me in bondage my entire life. It doesn't come overnight, but it does come.
"The chains of addiction are often to subtle to be felt, until they are too strong to be broken"
Until next time