Is it just me, or does everyone in recovery spin out of control when a simple confrontation has to be made?
What I mean by "has to be made" is this:
I was working with a kid, about half my age (he's roughly 22/23). He wanted to make a music video. I agreed to help him, but the only requirement was that he planned ahead of time with me. That means shoot date, location, and general ideas of his shots. I had asked him several times for this.
But he would consistently wait until the last minute, every time - literally the DAY OF THE SHOOT. I have to drop everything just because he failed to plan?
One day, he finally mentioned plans for the following weekend. But he still never contacted me about time, location, or even what kind of shots he needed, so I didn't know what kind of equipment I needed to bring.
Today, he sent me a text and told me all of the elaborate shots he wanted. I already have plans. It was a done deal, I couldn't just drop my day to go assist this guy! So I told him via text, primarily because that's how we contact each other.
Now, he thinks I'm lying to him, that I have made plans with "another party," and that I'm "quitting" and backing down.
THIS, is what I'm talking about:
Now I'm pissed and want to ring his neck!
Why? Why am I giving this kid so much power over me? I'm not a quitter, if I was, I'd be drinking right now. He is the one that didn't follow through with plans! I had explained to him time and time again what I needed if I was going to help him! I got all spun up and angry, and was ready to come undone and tell him how it really was. But as I started typing the text, all the tools i've learned over the last two+ years in recovery started to kick in, and I suddenly became calm as I remembered what my sponsor told me once, "Treat them as new comers, they don't know how sick THEY are."
With a sigh, I raised my chin, put my shoulders back to open up my heart, and I simply stated that I hoped he does well with his videos, and sent it off. Then, to prevent any further arguing, I simply blocked his number.
I hated to do that, but I will not wallow in the negativity that I don't have to be in. I'm learning that from a very good friend of mine. She reminds me all of the time. So, I took her advise - I severed the ties.
I appreciate the recovery groups that I attend. The people that I've met who've since become friends.
I am thankful that I can now make good decisions based on what is ACTUALLY happening.
I am grateful that today, TODAY, I have a choice. And today, I choose to live Drunkless.