I woke up today and realized I must have bumped my alarm off — I was thirty minutes late getting up for work. I hate getting up late, I feel like I’m just staggering around everywhere trying to get going. What it really reminds me of is when I used to get up late, still drunk from the night before, and go to work.
I was frustrated. I just had to hurry up, get showered, and get to work. I knew that if I could just get everything done in a hurry, everything would be okay, and i would be at peace. But it didn’t happen quite like that. Rather, I continued to feel lost, and the more I tried hurry, the slower I became; which added more pressure and the drive to speed things up! Of course, it was a lot of help that traffic was backed up. Now my vision of being caught up and getting to work on time was completely shot. How is a guy supposed to live in serenity and harmony like this?!?! I got to work, late of course, and began my day. And although nothing else seemed to get a whole lot worse, I just couldn’t get caught up.
At my job, a couple of the guys go on walks during their break. Twice a day. I join them about half of the time. Sometimes I’ll do the full walk, sometimes I’ll do the half walk. On their second walk of the day, I joined them. I needed to walk, to get away from my self-made train wreck . At the cross point, we split off; they went the long way, and I took the short way — alone. It was good, because I was able to slow down, and do some walking meditation and self reflection. I pondered some things in my life, worried about which decision to make and how to justify it. But as I calmed down and I began to listen, I recalled seeing this somewhere:
Ego self says, “When things are aligned, I’ll be at peace.”
Spiritual self says, “When I am at peace, everything will align.”
It was then that I did what I should have done first thing this morning — I released all of the things I had been worrying about, gave them all to Life, and let it take care of it. Suddenly, I knew the answer to some of the things that had been bothering me. They just came to me. It was an absolute answer, too. I KNEW what to do, there was no longer a question. I just needed to let go if it, come to peace with it, and let Life do its thing.
Before my day ended, I was caught up on all of the projects I could do for the day. I left work on time, I got home safely, ate some dinner, and headed out to one of my favorite meetings. Today was a good day, really. I just have to remember to be at peace first. The Universe has everything under control. The puzzle WILL fall into place — unless I keep moving it around.